(Via the Drudge Report)
Homeowner awakens at 5 AM to a naked man trying to strangle one of his dogs. Homeowner confronts him and is attacked in turn. The armed homeowner (answering the ever-present question "Why do you need a gun?") shoots his attacker and hold him for the local constabulary.
The genius observation of said constabulary and some of the local health care professionals?
He "may be under the influence of drugs."